We are often told to “love thy neighbour like thyself”. A creed I lived for, going out of my way to help others, and even answer the call to fight where they can not.
But in the process I lost myself.
No-one ever told me that loving myself was just as important. With valentines day yesterday I was once again rudely reminded. I had gone out of my way for my nightingale, dressing smartly, buying dinner with money from my savings (as I am between jobs), even shaving for her (I get painful ingrown hairs and red bumps on my face every time about a day after). I massaged her feet and back, and even watched a show she loves (and I hate) with her. I did everything I could think of to make it pleasant for her.
She did nothing for me.
That night, while she was sleeping in my arms, it dawned on me. I might as well have been a slave.
I did so much effort so she could show her love for me too. I became so focused on her that I forgot to love myself. So, today I am treating myself. After making it through yet another protest with burning tires and flying rocks, I decided that I should treat myself instead. Make nice coffee instead of the instant kind, watch a movie instead of working my fingers to the bone, and get myself a good lunch.
I have to love me today
As for my nightingale, I’m going to give her a chance to make it up to me. If she doesn’t then I’ll know how she feels.
Perhaps you are in the same situation. Sometimes you should give yourself a break, and show yourself the love that others may fail to show.
Besides, loving your neighbour is impossible if you cannot even love yourself.