In self defence training we often use the term BOGA. Back Off Get Away. Sometimes it means making the attacker back off, sometimes it means that you must back out of a bad situation coming your way.

Dear reader, please excuse the noisy writing, as I am very tired and mulling over a problem.

A dear friend is in such a situation. He loves a girl who is scared of loving him back. Scared of letting him in.

I’ve been there. One has to have very thick skin to love someone who keeps you at arm’s length. Its a lot of pain, effort and loneliness. It has its moments of beauty, and glimpses of incredible happiness. And that makes it so hard to let go.

Now he must choose.

My mind screaming BOGA! Yet its his choice.

The point… the point of all this. Point is, sometimes we should back off and get away, as fast as our legs can carry us. Maybe you are in such a situation too. If you are, back off, and get away! Some fights are worth fighting, yet most won’t be.

May you have the wisdom to know which you are facing, and the courage to do the right thing.


2 thoughts on “BOGA

  1. My guy had to put up with a lot of holding at arm’s distance. Honestly I still lapse into those behaviors from time to time, but his constancy has helped make that easier. That being said? Honesty and communication go a long way. If others are in this situation and reading this – regardless of what side you end up on – I encourage you to have a frank conversation with your significant other. Also, it’s time for a frank conversation with yourself. What do you want? What are you willing to compromise? What are you not willing to compromise?

    It’s a tough situation, and the only way to minimize pain is to be as honest with each other and ourselves as possible.


    1. Thank you for your remarkable insight.

      It is true; the grey area between fight and flight can be a tricky one. Luckily, if you know what is going on with yourself it is always possible to negotiate the situation. Good luck with your path, may you find comfort in closeness rather than distance.



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