The past two days I found myself in my favorite place in the world; the bushveld.
I am still lovingly uncomfortable with the silence. The kind where you can hear the whispers of God. No gunfire, loud traffic, aircraft or sirens.
Silence. Or the distant tok tok tok of a woodpecker, and sometimes the calls of foxes and owls in the night.
I found myself so feeling so tired. And sometime today I realised: I am under constant tension. Suddenly I am in the bush, carrying a fierce armament, and suddenly there is no more threats.
I realised that I grew up in a war. So much so that being safe makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I became addicted to the chaos along the way?
Why share this? There are reflections of ourselves in everyone around us. Our enemies so often reflect what we refuse to accept about ourself. I share this in the hope that you might see your situation in mine. Maybe one of my readers will also see all the tension in their life.
I wish that I could share this with my nightingale. I now see that she has the same problem, unaware of it just like I was.
What to do… what to do…
Not sure. My life will be stressful, no matter what I do. Upon returning I will be barraged with unsafe living, work uncertainty and loads of studies. Do you have the answer? Please share if you do. And when I get the answer I will be sure to shout it from the rooftops.
May your thoughts be gentle on you, and your tension melt in the daylight.
Warm (and calm) regards