Problems… we all have problems. Some little, like the pebble in your shoe. Some big, like a sword hanging over your head, or crosshairs resting on your heart. In my life I had loads of problems of the epic kind. The kind that either eats you whole, or turns you into a magnificent conquer.
One method of problem solving stood out over the years of consternation:
For those not familiar with Neuro Linguistic Programming (or NLP for short), it is the art of literally re-wiring the way you think to solve problems quickly and effectively. One of the strategies NLP developed stuck to me. Here follows a very powerful model of solving problems and tracking progress of healing.
The six modes of problem solving
We all go through our problems in six steps, usually in this exact order. Allow me to explain: In this metaphor, the problem is a dragon terrorizing your world.
At first we are the innocent, unaware of the problem. The first and biggest step awaits. To recognize the fact that we do have a problem that needs solving
Most people then advance to being the orphan. Aware of the problem, not knowing what to do or where to go. More growth is needed to start gathering courage and to start solving the problem.
We become the martyr as we sometimes believe that we deserve the dragon’s terror as punishment, and then we often wallow in the problem not seeing a way out. Some may get stuck in this point, so beware of it.
We become the wanderer by starting to work around the problem, avoiding it and escaping it’s wrath. Some people become experts in working around the problem, finding ways to bend over backwards in order not to directly face it.
This is the point where one begins to attack the problem head-on. The moment where we decide that enough is enough. Warriors have the right idea and good intentions, but alas not always the most effective plans.
The final stage, the wizard knows how to control the dragon, how to use it to his (or her) advantage, and can even understand why the dragon exists. The scariest of all, the wizard knows why the dragon had to come. Wizards mastered the problem and grew through it, some even use it to their advantage.
You see, we all follow that exact path.
It may be in a matter of seconds, or a matter of years. Some get stuck, others never start. To me, it was a battle. I knew exactly where to go, I just had to get there. Many of my memories still haunt me, and I am still learning to deal with all the pain my past left behind. This method became my road map, and it served me well ever since.
It is my hope that it will do the same for you.
I dedicate this post to a very inspiring person who had more than her fair share of hardship for a lifetime. Masqued, thank you for being the motivation behind this post. I hope it will help you as much as it helped me.
With warm regards