“Good guys don’t die, good guys keep fighting!” The instructor barks on a gun training program. I roll my eyes inwardly, I know what he meant to say. It should have gone something like “No matter what happens, KEEP GOING! Even if you are shot in the face, keep fucking going!”
The thing is, sometimes heroes die.
Even worse, sometimes that hero was more deranged than the bad guy he fought. Life is filled with hard truths. Like so many people who love brandishing their favorite weapons while having no idea the gruesome injuries they can inflict. I used to be one of them, I know the horror in discovering what my favorite knife does to flesh and blood.
I pray that most will never fall to those myths.
This is my reason for writing today. Love is shrouded in myth, and today I will expose those traps. Learn from my mistakes! First in line burned me so many times, and I know that I’m not alone in this…
“If we love someone hard enough, no circumstance or obstacle can keep it from working. True love conquers all!” It deeply saddens me, the truth is that it can’t. When people are too different, broken, or just too far out of reach, it won’t work. I tried hugging a broken person so hard that their broken pieces would stick together. I only got cut by all the shards.
“Soulmates, or ‘the one’, exists somewhere out there.” Sorry. There are no such things. The truth is much more beautiful! You see, there are many people who will “fit” you. And you can truly love each in a different yet deep way. I so often got stuck thinking “she is the one” and ignored the many others who would love me more and hurt me less. There truly are plenty of fish in the sea.
“The perfect partner is all I need” I almost made the biggest mistake of my life, throwing away the best thing that has happened to me, because I thought this is true. It really is too much to ask of someone to fulfill your every need. No healthy relationship can work with that kind of pressure. Friends, family and yourself all have a part to play in being fulfilled.
“When I find true love, I will know instantly.” Here we come to the saddest part for today. The scarce times I felt true love, I only knew after losing it. Even when you have it in your hands it can be fleeting and hard to describe. Sometimes the truest love we feel goes unnoticed because it is just so natural.
These are only a few, there are more to watch out for…
For some balance, here are a few things that true love is: True love heals. It might take years, but it will eventually right many wrongs. True love is comfortable and safe, while still being scary and awe inspiring. True love is calm yet powerful like the ocean on a beautiful day. True love comes easily, although relationships take effort to work. True love is worth dying for. He who has nothing to die for, has nothing to live for.
For those who have given up on love, remember, a Loveless life is a living death. You have to be ready yourself to make things work. You can be proud of yourself, braving all these hard truths to the end. Life has a brutal beauty to it, sometimes one should bleed to know you are still alive.