I walk down a hallway, I hear the footsteps behind me… my left hand tightens, and my right hand wants to reach for the knife at my side. I feel exposed. I glance over my shoulder, the guy following me carelessly strolling while listening to music on his phone, backpack loosely bouncing around on his back.
I grew up in a house where I learnt to expect verbal attack at any moment. The not-so-safe street next to our house taught me to be very weary of any stranger. That moment in the hallway made me realize, I saw everyone as an enemy.
A life without trust is a hard one.
I genuinely want to trust someone, but it seems so impossible. The ones closest to us can hurt us most. I am actively working on this problem, because it will destroy me eventually. The reason I write this is to alert others who may be the same. You have to trust someone. A lone life like this is painful and tiresome. Nobody can keep on living like that.
Recently I found someone who I could trust. That faithful night I confessed that I always carried my knife because it was the only thing I could ever trust. I broke down, I’ve been through so much alone. That night was the first night I had felt safe in years. Just one person made the world’s difference. So even if its just one person, find someone you can trust. Yes, they might hurt you sometimes…
But they will save you.
If you are like me, I wish you luck. Find someone, trust me, it makes the world’s difference.