We all have some kind of purpose in life. For some its inperceptable, they go along their lives never really knowing why they were meant to be. Then there are some who are reminded almost constantly. The constant barrage of signs that spin around in their world. For me it is my greatest struggle, because I am certain that I have a purpose, but I don’t know what.
That night, burned into my memories, the night I did not die even when I should have. In my wanderings I have learnt some things about purpose, and I want to share them with you.
Our pasts hint to our futures. Our pasts are filled with hints and clues about what we are meant for. Some learn to be kind, others to follow their wildest dreams. Some are taught to be strong, or shown the fire within. Some are made monsters, tormented and punished to their fate.
Our desires are a map. We are given our wants to be toward our purpose. Many find infinite joy in helping others, some enjoy creating beauty and awe. Some are made ambitious in their jobs, to make the world a better place. Some inspire, being only an idol, and leading many to do the best they can. Many aspire to have a family where they belong.
History does’nt repeat itself, but it does rhyme. Our choices in the past will so often reflect our future choices. We are shown the right course of action before we have to make the important decision.
We are taught all the skills we need before our journey begins. The unusual things we can do makes us specially suited for our specific task.
That being said, I scare myself. I have a turbulent past filled with pain, unhappiness, and conflict. My past is fraught with hard decisions and no good way out. My skills… it concerns me the most. I often wonder if my purpose is war, being the monster I almost became for the greater good. It leaves so many questions. Why I have this fire in me, why I am able to lay waste to anything in my path to find love. Living each day like my last, maybe one day I’ll have to be ready to die.
I wish you clarity in your purpose, knowing what is meant because it feels natural. It would seem that my heart of fire should be enveloped in chaos until it is meant to be liberated once more.