These days I often find myself doing bad things for good reasons. There is no joy in breaking bones, shooting, cutting or otherwise hurting anyone. But it is always done in defence of someone whom I care about, or even in self defence. In the streets I run, but in my home I stand my ground.
But I had a bad habit of doing good things for bad reasons…
I am a Rescueholic. I am addicted to rescuing people, sadly for the wrong reasons. Some rescue others to feel superior, or to manipulate them later. Others rescue to distract themselves from their own problems. I rescue as a gamble, hoping that they just might help me the way I hepled them. Giving in order to recieve. I sincerely hope all reading this will get the same dark sinking feeling when reading that, because that is wrong in so many ways.
Recognising the addiction is always the first step. Quite a few steps further I am actively working on my problem, never helping others for the wrong reasons. Now and then I still get the odd impulsive case where I offer help or advice when it was never asked of me. Now I vow to only help for the right reasons.
Of course I soon saw others in the same pattern. Being strong for others, always saying yes, never asking for the rescue they desperately need themselves. This is a wakeup call. I write this for other rescueholics because you see, all addictions damage us. All addictions hurt. I know how it felt giving everything and getting nothing. I was strong for others and they left me to fall apart. I helped at great cost without a thank-you.
- If you know the feeling, then its time to hear some painful truths. Helping others will not make them help you. It does’nt make you weak to need someone. The strong know when to ask for help, and when they can’t face things alone. The truly strong break down the walls they built around their hearts and their true selves.
If you are a rescueholic, and you have even a shred of love left for yourself, then save yourself. Unlike any other addiction it is surprisingly simple to cure. It can be cured by reading up on the problem, understanding the reason, and then making a concious effort to change. If NLP is used the process becomes easy and natural. And the difference is notable even a day after making the change. I dare you to be brave, I dare you to break free.
When its all said and done, I still help people for good reasons. And this time I want to, because it does’nt hurt any more.