The Reason

At the range

Strange how we find ourselves in odd situations. A visit to a friend becomes a road trip, a chance meeting becomes a beautiful friendship, or a walk in the yard becomes a firefight. In this case, it was a carefree talk with a friend becoming an idea, and that idea snowballed into… this.

Im not even sure what exactly this is. I guess it will be a glimpse into the life of someone who lives in the wrong place in the wrong time. Im hesitant to call myself a warrior, as I had always imagined it being different. I always thought life consisted of chaos, pain and difficulty. That is my “normal”. I grew up with a knife at my side, one of my first memories sitting between my father’s arms, looking over the sights of a thompson contender .22 with my finger on the trigger. That is my happiness, my comfort zone.

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The reason for this is to guide those like me, or maybe make people understand. You see, my father turned out to be a psycopath and my family a false dream. I found myself in the middle of a conflict with only two good friends and a knife at my side. And I had no clue where to turn or what to do. In my blind struggles I ended up in situations that one can write into a book. I know how it feels to be suicidal, I know how it feels to be all alone fighting for your life with no backup. I know how it feels to lose the only thing you cared for, and having nothing left to lose. Or how it feels to love someone who is unable to love you back. And I know how it feels to have fire in your heart. I know how to defeat my inner demons, and that one can see yourself in your enemy. I know how to win the struggles of life. I know the peace in forgiving those who hurt me.

So if you are like me, or if you feel lost and lonely with nowhere to turn, then this is for you. These posts are to inspire, guide, and just maybe save. And if you have a question, please feel free to comment, because with any luck I might have the answer for you.

Good luck out there and stay safe

Havoc

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One thought on “The Reason

  1. My psychopath was my lover.
    So our stories are very different but I could tell by many of the pictures and titles of the posts that you know the struggle that comes with having loved @ person with the derranged soul of a psychopath . Love isn’t supposed to hurt but you learn to live with the pain. Not well but you live with it becuz the alternative is not what u how you want your story to end. But there are times when it seems viable. I can tell you know what it’s like to be at odds with them n urself

    Like

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